Pain Love and Betrayal
by Mari Grem
Summary: The Marauders always intrigued me. Ever wonder how close they really were? Ever wonder why Peter changed? These oneshots will show you. Warning Slash Complete
1. Broken Inside

**Pain, Love, And Betrayal**

**By Tainted13Innocence**

**Disclaimer: I own now characters or events**

**Claimer: I do own the plot and ideas**

**A/N: Please read and review.**

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Chapter 1: Broken Inside

Pairing: Peter/Remus/Lily/James

POV: Peter

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She stole him from you. She made him fall for her and then she married James and broke his heart. And who did he run to? He ran to Sirius. Not to you, Sirius. Remus was the only person you ever loved, and that was why you stayed with them through all the years of torment and ridicule. That was why you didn't mind being the lackey or the tag-a-long. Because he was there and he defended you and you fell in love with him.

But he never loved you. He never even liked you very much. He just felt more sorry for you than anyone else. And that's why the pain is so unbearable. Because he considered you his best friend, and he would have died for you, but he didn't love you. Not like you loved him.

And so you decided to make it so you were the only person he could turn to. You decided to kill James and Lily so that she was dead. And then you decided to frame Sirius so that Remus would only believe in you.

But your plan was foiled, wasn't it? You were forced into hiding and when you finally resurfaced, Sirius was back and Remus hated you. And now, now that Sirius is dead you just can't beg for forgiveness because you know that Remus is too broken to give it to you.

And it hurts you, it hurts you so much to see him in this pain. Why?

Because you're the one that caused all of his pain, you're the reason he is broken.

_And you don't know what hurts worse, being broken because of love, or breaking the only person you've ever loved. _


	2. Watching

Chapter 2: Watching

Pairing: Remus/Lily/James

POV: Remus

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You watched them from the beginning. At first it was only her you watched. She was beautiful. She was different. She was refreshing. She was exactly what you needed. Her long red hair and bright green eyes entranced you and you soon found yourself falling for this fiery flower. She was everything you weren't, sweet, innocent, fiery, compassionate, and so sure of herself.

But she showed you a side of her little known to the world. She showed you the inner parts of her soul. She taught you how to live again when even your fellow Marauders failed. She brought a sunshine to your life that you thought was intangible. And you loved her so much that you were willing to let her go. But she never left. Not until he came into the picture.

For three years life was perfect. Lily was yours and yours alone. The innocent kisses and deep conversations and love that was raditaing off of both of you did not go without notice from others. James saw it, and he wanted it. He wanted her innocence, her fire. For once in your life, James Potter was jealous of you.

And you couldn't stand it. You couldn't stand it because he was your best friend and you didn't want him to be in pain. And so you set them up and you watched as she fell in love with him. You watched as she became the perfect person James saw her as. You watched as she fell apart inside.

But you knew they were destined to be together. You knew that they were soul-mates and that she loved him in ways she could never love you. Even though their relationship caused her pain, she stayed with him because he completed her in ways you never could. She loved him even though it hurt her.

On their wedding you were the second one to give a toast. And you did so with a smile painted on your face and flase happiness in your voice. And Lily heard you, you know she did because she apologized when the wedding was over. She came over to you and gave you a hug and she whispered in your ear.

"I love you best," she said, "I love you Best."

And then she became pregnant with Harry and you couldn't stand to see her in a world of faux happiness and painted smiles. So you disappeared. You still watched her though, and in the process you watched James too. You watched as they completed each other. As she finally found the happiness she never thought existed. And you realized then that you were meant to love her, destined to.But she was born and fated to love Him. And he brought her happiness where as all you brought her was guilt.

_But you loved her best. _

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Please Review-Nicole**


	3. Lies

Chapter 3: Lies

Pairing: Remus/Lily/James?

POV: Lily

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You loved him. You loved him more than life itself, but you knew he didn't love you. You knew that you were just a prize to him. Just a prize that he happened to marry and impregnate. And yet, for some reason that didn't bother you. Because you knew that Remus loved you and you loved James. So somehow life was complete even if it felt wrong.

You don't really know why you loved him. Maybe it was his sparkling hazel eyes or his cocky grin or the way he was so passionate about everything. You don't know why you still love him. Maybe it's because he's such a great father. Or maybe it's because he does love you, just not in the way you want him to. He loves you like you love Remus.

And it hurts. Because life would be so much easier if you just loved Remus. Because then everything would be okay and James could be with the person he really loved. And then you wouldn't wake in the middle of the night to his tears and you wouldn't wake up screaming. But you do and it's not fair.

Maybe one day you'll be able to love Remus and then you can set James free. But right now you're holding on to James and your vision of him. You're holding on to what you want him to be and your believeing in a false love because it's the lies that are keeping you sane right now.

_And sometimes it's easier to believe in the lies than it is to accept the truths. _

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_**Please Review-Nicole**


	4. Needs

Chapter 4: Needs

Pairing: James/Sirius

POV: James

Note: This is the Final Chapter

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He's your best friend, your brother, he's all that you have left. At first everyone thought that you were _his_ everything, but they didn't realize that if anything, he's the one that saved you.

You might have saved him from the Darkness, and you might of rescued him form his family, but he's the one that took some of the weight of the world off of your shoulders. He's the one that told you that expectations are for squares and that your parents would love you even if you weren't top Auror. He's the only one that kept you sane through all of it. He's the person who gave you a shoulder to cry on when your sister died. He's the person who understood your grief and shared it to the same degree when your father passed on. And he's the only other one who visits your mother every day in the nursing home.

And you love him for it. You love him and you know it's wrong because not only are you both male but he's your best friend, and your brother in every sense of the word but blood. And he loves you but he can't have you because even after all of these years the prejudices in his brain are still there and he thinks it's wrong and twisted. So after every shag he looks at you with guilt. And after every kiss he turns away in fear. It's as if you're satan or something.

But no matter what, you know that he is your only salvation. He's the only one that keeps you sane and yu need him.

_Sometimes what you need and what you love really are two different things. _

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**Please Review**

**I understand that Sirius doesn't have a chapter, but I'm pretty sure this chapter covers how he feels.**

**-Nicole**


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